


Battling Nightmares

by TheGiftofAslan



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23811154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGiftofAslan/pseuds/TheGiftofAslan
Summary: In the two weeks following the defeat of the White Witch, Lucy struggles with nightmares of seeing Aslan be killed. While her siblings try to help her through it, she still is suffering through her nightmares. This is the journey where Lucy and Susan search to ease the pain that night had left.
Relationships: Lucy Pevensie & Susan Pevensie
Kudos: 10





	Battling Nightmares

_In that knowledge, despair and die!_

The White Witch brought the knife down on Aslan once more. All Lucy wished to do was scream and save him. She prayed for the moment to be over as she had when she first witnessed his execution.

However, the only respite she was granted was when she had screamed herself awake. She bolted upward, feeling her heart pounding against her chest and her fear touching every nerve she had. Every inch of her body was screaming that she was in danger, that Aslan was still in danger. Her mind was begging her to save him as she had not last time.

For a moment, she could not process her safety; all she could hear was her ragged breathing. She shut her eyes, trying to gain some semblance of peace. When she saw a flash of the Witch screaming, "The Great Cat is dead," Lucy opened her eyes with a terrible fright.

It had only taken a few seconds more for Peter to burst into her room; Edmund was close on his heels.

"Lu." Peter's voice sounded muffled and distant, despite him being right in front of her. She did not understand why she could not hear him clearly.

She realized only a moment later that she could not understand either of them. They were both talking to her, or so she thought. Their mouths were moving as they casted nervous glances at each other. But she could not pay attention long enough for her to decipher what they were saying.

Instead, all her mind could focus on was the memory. Flashes scattered across her mind, and she squeezed her eyes. _Despair and die!_ The Witch brought the knife down. Lucy placed her hands over her ears.

Why could she hear the White Witch's voice clearer than her brothers'? She felt someone touch her shoulder, and she thought she felt someone touch one of her hands that held her ears.

All she wanted was to stop this memory from entering her mind and existing at all. Yet, nothing was working in the least. She could not erase what she had seen anymore than she could pretend that Aslan had not experienced that execution.

_Oh, Aslan_ , she silently thought. _You should never have suffered like that. I am so sorry._

It was only when she had felt Susan's gentle hands touching her own did she have the courage to open her eyes again.

"It is alright," she thought she heard Susan say.

"Oh, Susan," Lucy's voice was a plea.

Susan was the only person who understood what Lucy had seen and what she had gone through. She was the only one who understood what it meant to see Aslan be killed. Blinking up to her three siblings, Susan had arrived on Peter's other side, and their concern was plastered all over their faces.

"I saw it again. I saw-Aslan-" Lucy tried to explain. Her own voice failed her though. In desperation for some relief, she latched onto Susan.

There were no words from her siblings once Lucy had started to cry. Susan held onto her tight and warm, kissing the top of her head as she cried. She leaned into Susan, hating that she could not remove the image of the White Witch killing Aslan from her own mind.

Her heart ached, and she felt so helpless. She hated remembering, and most of all, she hated that the execution had happened at all.

The room was quiet other than her cries. She did not remember when, but at some point in time, she had taken Peter's hand, squeezing it so tightly that she thought she could break it. At another point, Edmund had soothingly started to rub her back, trying to provide even the smallest amount of comfort to her.

It was only when there was a momentary lapse in her cries that had left her in fit of sniffles did she hear the quietest of voices speak to her.

"I am so sorry, Lucy," Edmund whispered to her. His voice sounded quite miserable and frail, far more than she thought he ought to be.

Peeking out from under her closed eyelids, she saw how terribly sad he looked. He had his own tears brimming in his eyes, looking like he might cry himself.

Ever since Lucy and Susan had told Peter and then he had told Edmund of the execution, any mention of Aslan or that day made Edmund wear a wounded expression, like the mere mention was a mark to his very soul.

He had cried terribly then, and she thought he looked close to doing so now. Peter put his free arm around Edmund's shoulders, pulling him closer.

When Edmund looked over to him, Peter gave him a gentle smile, reassuring him, "Lucy knows none of this is your fault." Edmund still looked quite miserable, but he seemed the slightest bit reassured. Peter returned his attention back to Lucy before he said with such sympathy in his voice, "We know it was awful for you to see what happened to Aslan."

"But you do not understand," Lucy whispered. She shook her head, leaning into Susan's neck, trying to bury her face further. "You will never understand what it was like." Her heart hurt terribly, and she could not explain why every part of her was aching. She just wanted this all to go away.

Susan held her tighter, whispering, "It is alright, Lu. They do not need to understand." Lucy barely saw Peter give Susan cautious look. "But they are here to help you feel better."

"I do not think anyone can," she whispered, and the rest of the night had proven to Lucy that she was correct.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The next night went similarly. The same nightmare came. Her brothers and sister came in again, attempting to provide her with any comfort they could. Although she knew they were sincere, she could not shake the horror that encapsulated her. They could not change how much her entire chest constricted and her mind was filled with these images from that night.

The following night was even worse. Despite any efforts to make her at ease, she still had her nightmare of Aslan being killed again. Yet this time, when she had cried and was bitterly miserable, it was Edmund who had finally broken down and ran out of the room. Peter, of course, followed after him. When they had left them, Susan had become quiet on words, only telling her softly that she would be alright.

Later, Lucy would find out from Susan that Peter had spent the rest of that night reassuring Edmund that he was not the blame for it. She doubted he believed Peter, but the two of them spent the night working through it. She even told Edmund the next day that he was not to blame, but she saw in the way he looked at his feet and slouched that he did not believe her either.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

The fourth night was where Lucy finally found her answer. This time, when she woke up from her nightmare, she still jolted awake. There was no scream though, and for the first few moments of her being awake, she did not feel like she needed to cry. There was an eerie silence around her in her dark room too.

She sat in her bed for a few moments, only feeling her heart pound against her chest and her bones held a weight to them. She pulled her blankets up to her cheeks, hoping to provide the same warmth and comfort Susan had when she held her.

Unfortunately, it did not work.

Still feeling the weight of these memories and the fear that she could not escape it, she slowly climbed out of her bed, standing on shaky legs. Her cheeks felt a flush to them as she felt her emotions shaking against her, only growing in intensity the longer she was awake.

Once she slipped out of her room, she froze when she saw a few of her guards doing their nightly patrol. They all looked at her expectedly. She was still getting used to having guards be ready to assist her at every whim. It still felt so new to her. She offered them a small wave, and they resumed their patrol. She continued down the hall towards her siblings' rooms.

At first, she wanted to go to Peter's room. He had always been the one to comfort her in the past, and even now, she thought he would be able to make her feel safe. But she knew that Edmund was in there too; they had started sharing a room after they were all crowned. She wanted to go in there and went right up to his door too. Yet, she stopped herself though. She thought better of it. Edmund needed Peter there more than she did, and she did not want to cause Edmund to feel any more guilt than he already felt.

Instead, she went to the one person she knew who truly understood. She quietly knocked against Susan's door. Not waiting for a response, she opened the door and entered her room.

"Susan," she whispered once she was inside. Susan was lying on her side, still asleep. "Susan, wake up," she called again. This time, she was a bit louder. Susan rolled over before dazedly opening her eyes.

Blinking a few times, she asked, "Lucy?" There was a bit of confusion in her voice before she woke up fully. Now that Susan was looking right at Lucy, she did not know what to say.

All of sudden, she was reminded of looking at Susan's face right after Aslan had been killed. There was such sadness, such fear on that spring night. The only light she had to see her sister had come from the small light the torches offered. She remembered the way Susan had held her right after they saw the knife be brought down. Even then, Lucy had felt safe in her sister's arms, even with the soldiers of the Witch's army nearby.

She just wanted to feel that way again. She wanted to feel safe even in the midst of feeling all of this pain. She bit back a sob.

"I-"

"No need to explain," Susan easily reassured with a kind voice. She pulled her blankets aside, saying, "Come here." Lucy quickly climbed next to her, letting Susan wrap her up in the blanket. Once she was snugged, Susan held onto her tightly.

The two of them just laid there for a long while, and Lucy thought she was feeling a bit better just by being next to her, knowing that she was safe with Susan there.

It was only then did Susan say, "I have been trying to think of what to say to make this all better for you."

Lucy looked over her shoulder only to see Susan's somber face.

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to somehow comfort you because we had seen this together," she answered, holding Lucy a bit tighter. "But what happened to Aslan was truly horrible, and I do not know if anything I could say will make it any easier for you." She paused, taking an audible breath before she added, "Or for myself."

"Have you dreamt of that night too?" Lucy inquired softly.

"Yes," she whispered. "It seems that I only dream of that or-" she stopped herself. Her voice hitched at the sudden words.

"You can tell me, Susan," Lucy reassured.

Susan sniffled before answering so quietly that Lucy had barely heard her, "Or Edmund being in his place."

For a moment, Lucy was rushed with gratefulness that she did not have previously. Luckily, she never had a dream like that. As awful as it was to see Aslan in that execution, she could not imagine what it would be like to dream that Edmund was in his place instead.

They were quiet for a while, because there was nothing really for either of them to say. They were both rather miserable from their memories and dreams, and they both knew it too.

After a long while, it was Susan who spoke again. She leaned in, placing a kiss to the top of Lucy's head before giving her a tight squeeze.

"I love you, Lucy," she whispered. "And I wish with all of my heart I could take this pain from you."

Her voice was so earnest, and Lucy could not help but feel overwhelmed by it. She blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"I wish it had never happened to Aslan, and I-I am sorry that I could not protect you from seeing it," Susan confessed. Lucy felt her place her head on Lucy's shoulder.

Susan seemed spent after saying such words, causing Lucy to ask, "Do you feel any better now?"

"No," she admitted.

Lucy thought over what to say to her and found that she really did not know if she could say anything either. Because while Susan was incredibly sorry, and Lucy could hear it in her voice that she was, none of this was her fault anymore than it was her own or Aslan's.

"Only the Witch is to blame," Lucy said quietly.

Susan was silent for a few moments before she admitted aloud, "I hate how much she hurt all of us." There was such a frustration in her voice, but it soon faded when she sighed. After what seemed like a few seconds of consideration, she continued, "I suppose, Aslan would not want us to hold onto such anger though."

Lucy shifted in a way that allowed her to look at Susan, and Susan mirrored her so that she could do the same. Lucy noticed that she wore a thoughtful expression, one that spoke of the pain she felt and the sadness she knew too.

"I do not know how to help," Susan said. She touched Lucy's cheek gently. "All I can promise you is that I will be here for you every time." Lucy smiled at her, feeling that burst of safety that Susan had provided even on that awful night for her too. "And I know that Aslan is alive now, and I do think that he would not want us to dwell on what happened to him."

"But she still killed-" Lucy closed her eyes while that moment of safety vanished immediately. Instead, her stomach twisted in painful knots at the mere thought of the painful memory. "We still saw it happened."

"Yes," she quietly answered. "Nothing will change what he went through." She took a hold of Lucy's hand. "But he came back, and he has kept us all safe since."

_If the Witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice, she might have interpreted the Deep Magic differently_ , she remembered Aslan telling both of them that once he had returned. She was grateful that Aslan had survived his sacrifice, even if he had to endure such brutality. She was also glad that the Witch had not known the true meaning of sacrifice either.

She thought that Susan had a fair point. Aslan had come back and had saved Narnia from the White Witch. He had saved them all, her brothers in particular.

"It is just hard," Lucy admitted. "To not focus on him being killed over and over again." She felt Susan squeeze her hand to provide support. "To just keep seeing him like that."

Tied up, shaved, and vulnerable. He had not fought against any of the Witch's soldiers. He was humiliated and had suffered before the Witch ever killed him, and Lucy thought of the kind of strength it would take to endure something like that. She did not think she would be brave enough.

Susan was quiet for a few moments before she spoke again. Her voice held an uneasiness to it. She said, "Peter told me that when he has nightmares-about Edmund nearly being killed-"

Lucy's mind flashed to the memory of when they found Edmund on the battlefield. He was wheezing; he had lost so much blood. He was nearly gone by the time they had reached him. She had thought she had lost him.

Her face scrunched up at the memory. He had nearly died in their arms. She had almost lost him, even after everything they had gone through to save him. Even after he risked his own life to stop the White Witch.

_You gave him the cordial in time_ , she fiercely reminded herself. She kept reminding herself not to forget that she had reached him in time; she had saved him. She tried to focus on that instead of the way they found him.

"Oh, Lu," Susan said after she must have realized that Lucy had not been listening to her after she mentioned Edmund's near death. "I am sorry." She held her arms out to Lucy, and she immediately was scooped up in Susan's arms. "I was trying to use his experience to help us. I did not mean to upset you."

Lucy felt the heat rise to her face, as she whispered, "It is alright, Susan." She snuggled up against her once more, before saying, "Keep going."

Susan took an audible breath as she adjusted herself more comfortably so that Lucy was still in her arms and could still see her face.

"Peter told me that what helps him most is seeing that Edmund is alive and safe now. That when he just hears Edmund breathing and sees him there next to him, he knows that Edmund was not killed that day."

"Is that why Edmund sleeps in Peter's room?" Lucy asked curiously. She had never thought to ask either of them why before.

Susan smiled sweetly before answering, "I think it helps them both."

While this sounded like Peter's solution potentially could help Lucy and Susan with their nightmares, there was one glaring problem. Lucy said, "But we do not have Aslan here to help us. Peter has Edmund right next to him."

Susan seemed to deflate a bit. She must have thought that this was the answer. She said with a bit of hope still laced in her voice, "There has to be some way for us to do the same. There must be a way not to keep suffering through these nightmares without something to ease us."

Lucy thought she ought to be right, yet she remembered then that Aslan was not like any person she had ever been near. He was this magnificent Lion, glorious and kind. He had this presence about him. When she first heard his name, she had this warm feeling in her stomach like when she would wake up on the first day of a long holiday. He had this way about him that emulated warmth, safety, and kindness just by being in his presence.

He had been the light to Narnia. He had brought spring with him. He seemed to be in everything that made Narnia. Nothing could change it.

_He had been the light to Narnia_ , she thought to herself over and over again. At the moment that thought crossed her mind, she glanced outside, seeing the dawn of the new day trickling into Susan's room.

For some reason, this mere sight had reached her heart, making such a deep connection, and she suddenly found an answer.

"Susan, it is Narnia," she exclaimed. "Narnia is our answer!"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Aslan! He is a part of Narnia just as the sun is." She pointed to the sunlight coming in. "He brought spring when he came. He is a part of it all, isn't he?"

"Yes?" Susan answered carefully.

"We do not need to see him to remind us that he is safe and alive. If we just look around, Narnia itself can be the reminder that he survived that day," Lucy said.

With a gentle smile reaching her face, Susan replied, "I suppose you are quite right, Lu."

Excitement coursed through Lucy's bones, as she scrambled out of the bed and over to the balcony. "Susan, come see!" She opened up the doors, and the two of them spent the time they needed out in the Narnian air to once more feel calm.

And this had proven to work for the two of them.

They spent the next few nights in the same room, providing comforts when it was needed. But everytime the nightmares were overwhelming, they opened the glass doors, letting in that Narnian air. It would fill them with such vigor that they soon no longer felt clung to the nightmares of what happened to Aslan. Because they both knew that Aslan was still very much alive just as the Narnia they were looking out to was.

While that terrible execution always stayed with Lucy, after some time, her and Susan were able to move beyond the fright that night had scarred them with. Because whenever it did become too much, all they had to do was look to the Narnia around them to remind them that Aslan was alive, and the two of them would be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> **Thank you so much for reading! I just want to say that I appreciate every single review left on my stories, and they mean so much to me!**
> 
> **I am working on a one-shot centered around Edmund and Peter that I need to rewrite, but I am hoping to post in the near future, and I am also working on a short multi-chapter fic that I hope to post soon as well.**
> 
> **Thank you for all the support, and thank you reading!**


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